Top Five: Tips To Survive A Zombie Apocalypse

So I’m guessing you’ve heard about the recent spate of cannibalistic attacks in Florida from a man literally eating another mans face off while he was still alive to another man murdering and chopping up his flatmate before proceeding to eat parts of his brain and his heart. You’re probably thinking ‘Wow that’s fucked up but that doesn’t make those people zombies, it makes them horrifically strange and scary as fuck, but not zombies.’ However something isn’t sitting right with me and a fair few of the other people who like to type up their thoughts on a laptop and force them on other people via the medium of blogging. Take for example the recent outbreak of an inexplicable rash in a Florida high school which affected all the students of a certain class almost simultaneously and resulted in the quarantine and decontamination of said students by hazmat teams. Coincidence you say? Ok then, how about this one, the man who was eating the other mans face refused to stop when approached by a policeman and instead turned and growled like an animal, further to this (as if you needed anymore fucking evidence) he continued to eat the mans face after being shot in the torso… FIVE TIMES! FIVE. FUCKING. TIMES!!! Riddle me that one.