I love the cinema because I love films. However there are some aspects of the cinema experience that I’d change slightly if I had the chance, for example:5. The Film Buff
You know the one I mean. He's usually middle aged, with a terrible receding hairline, a large distended belly and a faded and slightly torn Star Wars T-Shirt with Yoda on the front with the logo 'Show me your t**s you will.' (Particularly ironic because the last set of actual real life tits he's seen belong to his 50 year old neighbour and were only spotted for a moment when her dressing gown fell open as she was taking the bins out.) He always sits right at the back of the theatre right in the middle, ignoring the fact that he gets free premiere seating with his Odeon loyalty card, because that's where he's always sat. Never, ever, does he go to the cinema with someone else. As you enter the theatre he stares you down from the shadows just daring you to sit in the seat in front of him, however when you do he does nothing other than sigh audibly and continue to munch through his popcorn. Note: The film buff is often mistaken for a paedophile as he attends many children's films, this is a misconception however. He cares not for anyone in the cinema, nor for the teen cast of High School Musical, he is simply there because it is a film and therefore he has to watch it.
