I’m in a rather pessimistic mood today, the metaphorical Sword of Damocles has been hanging over my head for a few weeks, and so I got to thinking about how no matter what you do with your day you will always get screwed by something. So here’s my top five:
5. Dropping Things
This happens to me every day, EVERY day (maybe not on the scale of Sergio Ramos dropping the Copa Del Ray under a moving bus but still). When it’s a knife or a fork it’s like water off a ducks back, I’ll just pick it up and carry on with my business. Sometimes it’ll be a quid that you have to stand there and watch solemnly as it trundles down the path and then throws itself into the nearest drain, that will force an audible complaint from most. It starts to get upsetting when foods brought into play, for example when you’re trying to save on washing so you use the pizza box as a plate and you slide the pizza out of the oven onto the box but the box crumples under the weight and the pizza flops face down onto the kitchen floor!!!! But there seems to be days where the greater forces want things to get proper tasty, when as if by magic your phone throws itself from your firm grip towards the nearest pint/sink/bin/oven/cliff/oncoming motorcycle/tire fire etc etc.
