January 23, 2012

Lifestyle: Munch Mondays – Chili Con Carne

Another new thread here, Munch Mondays is gunna be a new recipe every Monday that’s proper tasty and easy to cook. However, it wont have any of those flowery words that you find in most recipes like ‘dice’ or ‘wash’, it’ll be straight to the point. No better one to start on than Chili, one of my most favourite meals. So you will need (Serves 4 btw):

1 tbsp oil
1 large onion
1 red pepper
16 small to medium mushrooms
2 garlic cloves , peeled
1 heaped tsp hot chilli powder (or 1 level tbsp if you only have mild)
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp ground cumin
500g lean minced beef
1 beef stock cube
400g can chopped tomatoes
2 tbsp tomato purée
410g can red kidney beans
2 tsp of hot chocolate powder
(Personally I like to add a couple of fresh chilli's as well but I like my food proper hot so it’s up to you if you want to do the same, heed my warnings though if you have a ‘sensitive’ pallet, pussy)

To cook it you should:

1. Chop all your veg up however you want, the bigger it is the more like a stew it’ll be the smaller the pieces the more like a soup it’ll be, your choice.
2. Heat some oil in a saucepan for a few minutes and then chuck in the onions and fry and stir for five mins, don’t let it burn. Then add all the other veg and the spices and fry for a further 5 mins, stir it every now and then.
3. Turn the heat up a bit and add the mince, smash it about with your spoon until it’s broken up and keep stirring it until it’s all evenly cooked and nicely brown.
4. Now add half a pint of hot water plus the stock, tinned tomatoes, tomato puree and chocolate powder and give it another stir. Add salt and pepper (I like to add shit loads of both but it’s up to you, pussy)
5. After a few minutes of making sure it’s nicely mixed bring it to the boil and then lower the heat until it’s simmering* gently, leave it for 20 minutes with a lid on and go have a can, you fucking deserve it. Put down your beer every now and then to go and give it a stir to make sure nothings sticking to the bottom and burning. *Now just to be clear simmering means very few bubbles rising to the surface slowly, if it’s still messing about like a volcano then it’s still boiling numbnuts, if it’s not bubbling at all check to make sure the hobs actually on
6. Drain the can of kidney beans and chuck them into the chili and turn the heat up again until it’s bubbling quickly, keep it like that for 10 mins. By now the sauce should be roughly about as thick as the sauce you get in a can of baked beans, if it’s thicker than that add a little bit more water (not too much though!) if it’s more watery than that then you’ve fucked it up, pat yourself on the back, idiot. 
7. I personally don’t bother with boiling rice in water I just use microwaveable rice but if you are boiling it on the hob follow the instructions on the bag.
8. Once your rice is sorted stick it on a plate and spoon some chili on it, job done.

Look at what you have in front of you and now look at the picture at the top of this post, if it looks at all similar then well done, you’ve managed to cook something! Have another can!

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